Halima Abubakar is probably the first Nigerian celebrity who openly cried out about her battle with depression.She said she was at the lowest point in her life and the rumors,hate on blogs did not make it any easier..In a new chat with Encomium,she opens up on the real reason behind it
It’s a very huge experience, and coming out of it wasn’t that easy. A lot of people don’t really understand what being depressed is. Some may say they are sad, they are not but depressed. But what happens is that they don’t know they’re depressed, they’re just sad. Every day they ask such people, they will reply, I just dey jare. Each day they’re thinking about so many things – they think about money, love, husband, kids and all that, and all these things and more cause depression which many Nigerians don’t know because we’re strong.
We think we’re just sad when we’re in that situation. Initially, I thought I was just low, until I started having migraine. I couldn’t sleep. At a point, I couldn’t even sleep for two weeks.
You wouldn’t believe it, I was thinking I had migraine, the doctor said I had typhoid. So, we’re treating typhoid and before I knew it, I was hospitalized. I was in the hospital for a week, treating typhoid. Later, I thought I was okay, I went to Obasanjo son’s wedding in Abeokuta, Ogun State. The guy married my friend. So, we all went for the wedding. While I was there, I was extremely happy, dancing and all that but at the end of the wedding, I started feeling funny. That night against the next day, I couldn’t really figure out what happened. I just realized I needed to go back to the hospital. So, the very next day, I had to leave Abeokuta straight to the hospital. And my doctor said my migraine was back. And we started talking. He was asking me questions and when he was going personal, I told him I didn’t want to talk on anything like that. But he told me I had to so that he could see if what was wrong with me was personal. I was still on medication for a while, but thank God I have overcome that. And Insha Allah, it won’t come back.
What actually was the cause of your depression?
I broke up with my boyfriend. This happened to be the first time I will be talking about that. I had decided that people will be reading about it in my book but I will just tell you a little about it. I broke up with my boyfriend and I didn’t handle it well. Not me alone, we both didn’t handle the situation well. But you know I am a woman, we all react differently. To some people, they can just take a drink and sleep off. And that’s the end. They don’t have anything to think about. But I just realized I loved him deeply. I didn’t think I was that romantic. I thought it was the Jango, Rainbow or Odechi (laughs) thing. So, falling in love was kind of something new to me. Then, having problem upon problem about it until it ended up in a major breakdown.
When exactly did the hiccups start in the relationship and when did it finally pack up?
It happened first in December 2013, and we came back in 2014. And we broke up again which led to the whole thing. He didn’t even know, I am sure he couldn’t even believe I was in love with him to that extent. That’s why. So, I advise people to show love to who they claim to love. And for any guy that’s in love with a woman, he should show her that love, pay her all the attention and make her know you love her. You don’t allow her to doubt your love.
How have you been coping since then?
It has not been easy. I was under medication for a while. Of course, I have my family with me, each of them came after the other to keep me company. I didn’t accept any role that period because I shot like two or three roles that time but I didn’t feel like I used to. Then, I shot Juju wood in Enugu, directed by Tchidi Chikere. It was an amazing experience to work with him. But I started having migraine again from that location. It wasn’t a good experience at all. I also went on location in Asaba, Delta State. I later had to go back to Lagos. I think I did about four movies within seven months because I needed to work but it wasn’t easy. But now, it’s like nothing has happened to me. So, I am going to say I am very grateful to God, I am in a better and wonderful place. I am beyond happy.